Strawberry Cake and Saying Goodbye

I wanted to post this Strawberry Cake with Lemon Rosemary Glaze before Mother’s Day. But that didn’t happen. You see, I’ve been busy helping my youngest daughter pack and organize her things for a move to another state.

I’ve been cooking her favorite meals, and we’ve spent the last few weeks sitting on the patio, sipping wine and having long conversations. Slowly saying goodbye, and realizing that we are both starting a new chapter in our lives.

My heart was heavy the day my girl left. So I wrote about this new normal, and the responses filled my heart with so much gratitude. Sometimes social media is a space I dread, but today, it was like a virtual hug from all the mama’s out there.

Friends, family, readers, foodies, parents, grandparents, aunties – one united front. Loving comments and well wishes from different parts of the country, from different parts of the world, people of different faiths, political views, different races, all unique and beautiful, and all united in sending this mama some much needed comfort and love.

Once again, this proves we all have a connection despite our differences.

My sweet girl backed her car out of the driveway and then I watched her car disappear down the road. This is the end of a scene from my play of life. The curtain has come down and an intermission is in order. A pause to collect myself, to cry my buckets of tears and wallow a bit in my sadness that this scene is finished, and a new one begins.

It’s not that being a mom will end. It just changes. Sometimes change is hard. I always thought I was good at change. I’ve had a lot of it in my lifetime. I thought I was a pro by now. But when it comes to one of my most cherished jobs in life, the change feels a little more heartbreaking, a little more empty.

I came back into my house and had a good cry – my husband trying desperately to cheer me up. Then I went upstairs to my office, as I do every morning, and proceeded to answer emails and do a bit of writing.

I dug around my desk for my planner, when I saw a long note written on an empty page from my daughter. She hid it under one of the many books on my desk.

Her words are a gift. They tell me how much she loves me and it’s really going to be ok. She tells me she still needs me and that she’s not really that far away. That she thanks the universe every day she is part of our family.

She tells me this change is hard, but we can do it. That her memories are precious and there are many more beautiful memories to come. She tells me she’s going to call me every day. And she tells me, “you’re the best mom ever”. I love you.

Under the “to do” section of my planner she writes, “drink wine and call”. Love you. Then a smiley face.

Strawberry cake with lemon rosemary glaze delighted my sweet gal. I made it because I had a craving for strawberries and cake and I wanted something herby and lemony to pair with it. And just to be sure it was perfected, I tested it three, maybe four times. Of course, my family didn’t mind.

I suppose this is my way of saying goodbye. Strawberry Cake with Lemon Rosemary Glaze baked with so much love and good wishes. Something sweet to remember, something delicious that says, I love you and I’m going to miss you with all my heart.

Wishing you love, light and good health,

Karista